What's wrong with our freak show child?

Our two buddies look cute and innocent enough, right? They look like your normal 4 and almost 3 year olds. They like to play in the sandbox and watch Thomas the Tank Engine. They 'help' with cleaning and cooking, mainly by messing and slopping. They love and adore one another but will fight over toys and do things to intentionally annoy one another. That's what childhood is all about. But they both have a deep dark secret that will probably not be brought up again until they reach puberty and start bringing young ladies over to watch movies in the darkened basement and Renee and I need some ammo to really embarrass them with. That's what parenthood is all about. That secret is they were both born with supernumerary digits. That is, extra fingers.


Exhibit 1: This is Benny. You can barely make it out but dangling off of the pinkie on his left hand is his extra finger. It was attached by a string of skin to the outside of his pinkie and resembled the last segment of a finger. It didn't have a nail but it looked like one was forming. Pretty creepy right? I can still remember when the Pediatrician called me over to see my brand new boy while Renee was being stapled shut. I wiped away a few tears and gazed at the screaming little guy and the doctor said, "Everything checks out fine, there's just one small problem. He has what is called a supernumerary digit." She showed it to me and I don't really think it sank in until I went back to sit next to Renee. "What's wrong with our freak show kid?" I gave out a little cry/chuckle and told her he was perfect except for the 11th finger. She didn't seem to mind that much. "When can I hold him?" was all she said.

We got used to it and it was cut off a few months later. Every so often he would make a fist and it would disappear into his clenched hand and there would be that moment of panic that maybe, just maybe, it fell off and now we would have to find it. Luckily that never happened and a creepy surgeon took care of it instead.

Exhibit 2: Can you see a bright red ball hanging off of Sammy's right hand. That is one of his extra fingers. It looked like one big blood blister that was about to pop. Notice the nurse was careful to make this shot internet safe. Good block job.

Exhibit 3: In this one you can see both of Sammy's extra fingers. The one on his right hand started to dry up and looked like a raisin in about two days. The one on his left hand was even creepier than Benny's. It resembled the last two segments of a baby finger and was attached the same way Benny's was. It had a tiny nail that didn't grow, thank goodness, and the other one eventually fell off. Don't worry, we found it and joked that is a good thing Benny didn't find it since it looked like a raisin. When Sammy was being cleaned up in the hospital, I turned from Renee's side and asked how many fingers this one had. The same pediatrician looked at me with shock. I guess she had forgotten about Benny. Even though studies don't prove it, she is now for the first time convinced that supernumerary digits have to be hereditary.

Exhibit 4: I just put this in here to show off Sammy's baby mullet. It rocked. I wanted to do everything we could to accentuate it but Renee didn't like that idea. I tried to buy a little comb with a handle on it to put in his back pocket at all times. No luck though.

Exhibit 5: In case you didn't feel sorry enough for Sammy after the last to posts, here is a picture of his stork bite. It has definitely faded and I don't even notice it anymore. I think it might have kept him from being chosen as the new Gerber Baby.

So there it is- the boys' deep dark secret. I hope no one thinks any less of them now but I thought it had to be shared. But if you could all do me a favor and not bring it up until they start dating. I think the threat of a baby with extra fingers could help the girls think twice about my boys. And if they are that concerned about it, they probably aren't the right girls anyway.